Girl Scouts, I am DONE with you!

Like millions of other people, I am a Girl Scout cookie junkie. I love the wonderful time of year when those delicious morsels make their way into my home and belly. Yes, they're expensive, but they're also so! yummy! and I've always considered them worth every penny of the $3.50 per box price tag. I've long been loyal to my favorites (Samoas/caramel delites and Thin Mints) and mourned the loss of flavors past (I don't remember the name, but the ones that stick most are the super-yummy, flaky, lemon creme sandwich cookies).

But I have become disillusioned, friends. Somehow, I missed the GSC ordering window this year. Up until last year, my mom was the head of the GSC cartel operation in my home county, so I never worried about my cookie supply. Even if I never ordered, my mom ended up with cases of cookies hanging out in her house, and I could purchase whatever I needed wanted. I happened to overhear a colleague discussing cookie delivery last week, so I was able to pick up a couple of boxes. I was good. I only ordered two measly boxes (it would have been three, but my source didn't have any Tagalongs - B's favorites). Two days later, Girl Scout cookies appeared in my office.

The first thing I noticed about this year's boxes was the size:  they're small. Noticeably smaller than prior years', in fact. I thought nothing of it, though, until this morning. Today, as I rushed to throw together a lunch, I decided to grab some Thin Mints. I opened the box and was horrified to see the size of the cookie sleeves. They're TINY! I'm guessing they're each a third smaller than they used to be. A THIRD! The cookies aren't as minty as I remember them, either (though this could be my brain's angry response to the "box" of cookies).

The Samoas weren't quite as shocking. I think the number of cookies is the same, but the cookies themselves are a bit smaller. It's also possible that they've taken one cookie out of each row of the tray. I seem to recall that there used to be six cookies per row. This year there are five. Trickery.

Look, I get that times are tough and everyone is trying to do more with less. But really, Girl Scouts? Is nothing sacred any more? I would have grudgingly happily paid an extra $.50 a box to keep the number of cookies in the boxes the same. Let's think about it. People love them some Girl Scout cookies. They'll pay to get their annual fix. $4 a box is probably pushing it, but people would still pay that.

Let me give you some free business advice, Girl Scouts. In the future, if you're going to cut the size of the packages, I suggest you take the subtler Samoa approach (gradually reducing the number/size of cookies over time. Oh, yeah. I remember when there was a decent amount of cookies in one of those boxes), rather than the abrupt Thin Mint approach (cutting out 1/3 of the cookies OUT OF NOWHERE). Your cookies now taste of deception and sadness. There's not a cookie in the world that tastes better with a huge doses of lies mixed in.

So I'm done. No more Girl Scout cookies for me. I refuse to sponsor further cookie shenanigans. (Can someone remind me of this next January?)