Thursday, August 16, 2012

Is this me?

So, I've been having this horrid thought lately:  what if this is me?

What if the miserable person I've become is really who I am? What if it isn't the depression, isn't the crappy life circumstances, and is just my personality? What if I'm going to be like this forever? What if this is me?

I don't like the person I am now and have been for the past three or so years. I hate this me. I don't want to always be this way. I'd like to think it's temporary, but three years is a long time. And optimism isn't my strong suit.

This thought plagues me, this wondering "what if..."

3 comments:

Carrie said...

I could have wrote this same thing!! I have felt this way for the past 2 months. UGH! Sometimes before I fall asleep I think to myself "I am going to wake up and everything is going to be how it should be and I will feel normal." Morning arrives and I feel like I am being Punked! =( Wish I had words of encouragement, sadly I do not. I just keep treading along. {{HUGS}}

Doing My Best said...

THIS IS NOT YOU! THIS IS THE DEPRESSION AND CRAPPY LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES!!

Keeping fighting for you; YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

PinkieBling said...

I relate to this sentiment SO MUCH.