So, I've been having this horrid thought lately: what if this is me?
What if the miserable person I've become is really who I am? What if it isn't the depression, isn't the crappy life circumstances, and is just my personality? What if I'm going to be like this forever? What if this is me?
I don't like the person I am now and have been for the past three or so years. I hate this me. I don't want to always be this way. I'd like to think it's temporary, but three years is a long time. And optimism isn't my strong suit.
This thought plagues me, this wondering "what if..."