Saturday, January 14, 2012

Not a happy post

I've been meaning to write since about Tuesday of this week, and my intent was to write about something happy. I, uh, haven't really been able to come up with anything happy to write about, though, so I just haven't written. I don't have enough brain power to write anything good tonight (and my butt hurts, so sitting at the computer isn't working for me), so I'll give you some bullets.
  • The silver lining of my weight gain is that my awesome red pants that I absolutely love (and must have bought during my immediately-post-bar-exam fat period) fit me again. I wore them to work on Tuesday, and they made me smile (this was the only happy thing I came up with this week).
  • It's been six whole days since either boy has had a fever! This is something of  record around here right now (ok, more happy...I'm doing better at this than I thought I would).
  • My dryer isn't dead. It wouldn't turn on the other day, and B discovered that the cord had burnt up due to a wiring problem. He replaced the cord and wiring today, and the dryer works! Never mind that he mentioned to me that he noticed when we got the dryer (a couple of months after moving in, so about two years ago) that there was something not quite right with the wiring, but he didn't bother to check it out. He's lucky the only casualty there was the dryer cord burning up, and not, like, our entire house going down in flames. I was livid when he told me that. But! All's well that ends well, right?
  • The boys go to the ENT on Tuesday, and I'm a bit concerned that he's going to tell me W needs to have his right ear tube replaced. The tube fell out maybe a month ago (I could look it up, but I don't feel like it), and he's had two infections since then. The one that happened right when the tube fell out and was NASTY, and the one this week that we caught at the beginning. The fact that he got an ear infection the second that one of his tubes shifted out of place made me a little wary about him needing another surgery, and this second infection has confirmed that fear. I guess we'll see on Tuesday after his hearing test and check up.
  • The boys' behavior has gone to absolute shit over the past couple of weeks. I don't know what happened, but they're both behaving atrociously, and it's getting to me.
  • Along with that, the rage has been strong with me the past couple of weeks. I find myself yelling far more than I should (and it's completely ineffective, which just makes me angrier), and getting pissed about stupid stuff. Hormones. Awesome.
  • I'm pretty sure every period since I had R (I think this one is number seven) has gotten progressively more awful. It started with a vengeance this morning, and I'm feeling crappy because of it (on top of feeling crappy in general lately). I've been feeling some random pains and twinges, and I'm really hoping it's not endometriosis coming back/flaring up/whatever. I don't need to deal with that, too.
  • Depression (and anxiety, oddly enough) has been kicking my ass for the past couple of weeks. I feel awful, I do nothing, and I'm miserable. My psychiatrist canceled on me last week, and I canceled on my counselor before the psychiatrist canceled because I didn't think I could get a sitter two nights, so I haven't gotten my mental and medical readjustments recently. I think I need both, but it's going to be another week or so.
Ok, that's all. Time to head back to the couch to wallow.

3 comments:

Doing My Best said...

Sending you much sympathy! I'm afraid Depression won at my house today. Hopefully I'll be able to fight harder tomorrow...

Also, these are EXACTLY the times that Crappy Day Presents were made for. Ahem =).

Kimberly said...

I am so sorry that you're not feeling well. You feel even worse when life starts to pile up on top of your shoulders.
I remember wanting to tell everything and every one to "F" off.
I hope that you can get into see your doc soon. You don't deserve to feel this way.
Sending you lots of hugs and strength.

Laura Diniwilk said...

Just now reading this. I'm sending you happy thoughts, for what it's worth. Glad your red pants cheered you up - the thought of fun red pants is making me smile too. Pics???