Yesterday, The Bloggess published a post about her depression, anxiety, and self-injury that has pretty much blown up the internet (or at least the corner of the internet where I hang out). The sheer number of tweets, facebook posts, and blog posts I've read about Jenny's story has been staggering. The main point most of these people made is that it's time to end the stigma and shame associated with mental illness.
I don't disagree with that sentiment.
I do, however, have a very difficult time embracing that idea and applying it to me. I know mental illness is a sickness like any other, and "catching" it is largely out of my control. I know this. But it doesn't matter. I'm ashamed of myself for getting PPD. I'm embarrassed by the fight I'm fighting every day of my life. A little part of me dies of humiliation every time I talk to someone or post about my PPD. A little part of me is terrified of how my medical condition affects other people's perceptions of who I am and what I'm capable of.
Now my secret shame isn't so secret anymore. And I'm feeling more mortified than ever.