In case you haven't been following my ass saga, here's the short version: I've had chronic tailbone pain since I got pregnant with R (actually, the sore tailbone was the first inkling I had that I might be pregnant a second time). I've been seeing an orthopedist and trying a bunch of stuff that hasn't worked, including anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers, cortisone shots, chiropractic adjustment, voodoo, etc. At my appointment this week, my doc told me the time had come: I need surgery. Neat.
My surgery is scheduled for next Thursday at 12:30. I'm having the last two vertebra of my spine removed (all the inflammation and ouchieness is between the second- and third-to-last vertebra). You'll be shocked to hear this isn't a common surgery - my doctor has only done it twice before. The good news is that those two patients had their pain completely go away after surgery. Sounds like a fairly simple procedure (except for the risk of a perforated colon), but I might have to stay overnight if the pain is bad.
So. I'm having my ass removed next week. I know you're jealous.
* Before you say anything, I know it's technically an "assectomy" (ass removal) rather than an "asseotomy" (ass cutting or opening) - if I learned nothing else in high school anatomy, I learned that** - but that's not how the Half Baked quote goes.***
** Well, that and it's "seniorosis," not "senioritis" (though if you have a particularly skanky group of seniors, "-itis" might be appropriate), and if you let the girl who refuses to touch the dissection cat name your cat, you get a cat named Pickles.
*** How come the only movie I ever seem to be able to quote is Half Baked? I think that probably means there's something wrong with me, doesn't it?