Saturday, October 22, 2011

Failing, failing

Dammit, I'm back here. Again. Life is crumbling down around me. Again. I can't do anything right. Again. I'm failing at life. Again.

The depression triggers have been coming at me hard and fast this week. Pain. Physical healing issues. Marriage trouble. Financial stressors. People judging me and my parenting. Cancelled psychiatrist appointment. Needy children. It goes on.

And I have so much to do. So much. My performance goes way, way down when this happens, which just makes me feel like even more of a failure. Unfortunately, I still have to get stuff done. It's taking everything in me to not cancel all our weekend plans, ship the boys to Grandma's, and hide in my room crying until life goes away.

And life never goes away, does it?

4 comments:

Kelly said...

I wish I had read this earlier. If you need to talk I'm here..I know it was hard to today but I am here for ya, anytime. I know how hard things can get...wishing you peace and calming thoughts Em

Doing My Best said...

I'm so sorry life is being so hard on you right now =(!! (hugs!!)

Kimberly said...

I wish I knew what to say or do...but I can offer you a giant hug and an ear to listen if you need to vent.
Big huge hugs

Amanda @ There Are Two Sides said...

Unfortunately...it doesn't ever go away.