W has been...more trying than usual lately. He is having more and more "sensie" days (we figured he's not quite old enough to be emo yet, and he's a little too male to be a drama queen, so B has been referring to W as "sensie"). He's almost reverted to the kid he was pre-SPD diagnosis and associated therapies. He's gotten super clingy again and completely loses his shit when I leave. He's refusing to interact with - or even look at - B most of the time. He's a little demon when I leave him at daycare. He's throwing major tantrums when I leave him in his room at bedtime. He won't even let B change his diapers any more. He also started sucking his thumb a month or so ago and does it all.the.time. now.
It's exhausting. And infuriating. I have no idea what has gotten into him or what I can do to get it out of him. I think we all know that my grasp on parenting ability is tenuous at best. W's behavior on sensie days pushes me right to the brink. I truly can't deal with him. I don't know what I can do to make him better able to cope with, um, everything.
On top of that, R has started to copy his brother's separation anxiety. When W is around, R also doesn't want me to leave him with Daddy, or leave him, period.
In the end, it all comes back to me. The boys only seem to act like this around me. They only have massive fits when I'm leaving. They only turn into whiny little monsters when I get home. They only hate Daddy when they have another parent option. If fact, our daycare lady tells me that the second my car disappears from view, W turns off the screaming and tears like a faucet. It's obviously an act he puts on for me. And I have no idea what to do about it. I don't know what I can do differently.
I've honestly thought that permanently leaving might not be a bad option. It would take care of so many issues. I lose the restraints and responsibilities of marriage and motherhood, the boys lose the source of their ridiculous behavior, and B loses the crazy pain in the ass wife he's stuck with. We all win.
Or I could just take W back to OT. It's been a long while since he's been to an OT appointment due to illness, Mommy's lack of time off work, and our OT's resignation. I'm wondering if that will at least calm him down to the point he was a month or so ago. That's all I can even ask for right now.