In working on my word, and after my little snit the other day, I spent some time the other night coming up with a list of things that bring me some measure of peace. I did this partly to remind myself that my life isn't always a throbbing mass of messy upheaval (though it usually is these days) and partly to give myself an easily-accessible list of things I can reference when I need to step back from my situation a bit. It's pretty short, but it's a start.
- Reading while sitting alone in my bedroom and not hearing screams on the other side of the door.
- Finding writings by other moms that make me feel like I'm not the only person who's going through what I am or that give me some hope that maybe, just maybe, someday things might get better. I found today's on Mommypants:
"I have learned through trial and error and self-doubt and self-confidence that Mommypants don’t just come made to fit: you either have to suck it in and squeeze them on or hold them up until you find the perfect belt. And sooner or later you will be strutting your stuff, forgetting that there was ever a day when they weren’t hugging your legs and squeezing your behind every time you looked in the mirror."
- Rocking and nursing R in the dark at bedtime.
- Crossing important items off my to-do list.
And that's it. For now. I'm hoping I'll be able to find more of these and add to my list over the course of the year.