Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Purple nurples

Today, the phrase "purple nurple" took on a whole new meaning for me. You see, my nurples are - quite literally - purple*. Not from from some kinky sadomasochistic sex thing, but from dye. Gentian violet, if we want to get specific.

R was diagnosed with thrush at his two-month check-up today, and the gentian violet is the first treatment step. R got his mouth painted with it, and I got to paint my nips. It's sexy. And stainy. But at least I don't look like I fellated Grimace.**


Or became a purple people eater.

Supposedly, the color will fade away over the next few days. Let's hope so.

We're also both on nice long courses of diflucan.

I'm hoping this will all take care of the nipple issues I've been having because they hurt. A lot. And nursing is getting kinda dread-inducing. According to some of the websites I read, the yeast infection would explain the crazy-mad sugar cravings I've been having lately. They have been completely out of control. I've practically been living on candy bars for the past couple of weeks.

Other than the thrush, R's appointment went well. He's growing like a champ and hitting all his milestones. Always good to hear.

Now we just need to cure the Barney mouth...

* Not actually my nipple. I don't love you guys that much. But it is a fairly accurate representation of the current color of my nipples.

** R didn't actually fellate Grimace. Or anyone else for that matter.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

A toddler kind of day

Today was definitely a toddler day. If you currently have a toddler, or have had one in the past, you know the kind I'm talking about. It was one of those days when the tantrums flow freely and intensely; when your child's frustration with life is palpable; when the kid spends more of his day in time out than out of it; when nap time canNOT come soon enough, and does NOT last long enough; when nothing you do makes anything right; and when your partner is about .3 seconds away from losing his shit.

Yeah, it was one of those days. And it was rough. After a full day of mommying the baby, the toddler, and the husband, I'm exhausted. And clinging tightly to the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Because no matter how rough the day was, the sticky hug; big, drooly, open-mouthed kiss; and giant smile from a blackberry-covered face I got at the end of it remind me that he loves me and he's fundamentally a good kid. Even when he's having a toddler day.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Big Lots score

This morning, my coworker told me that some of the Big Lots stores in the area had Crocs - REAL Crocs -for $10. Which is a steal. I recently decided (after being inspired by Jill and her fat-footed toddler) that I need to buy some of these for W because his fat little feet don't fit into most shoes. He's also about a size 6.5, and I've found that most toddler shoes only come in whole sizes, which doesn't work for us. So Crocs were the solution.

Unfortunately, those horribly ugly plastic things are expensive. Like $25 for a pair of toddler shoes he'll probably outgrow in a month. But because I love me kid (and hate getting made fun of for his pinkie toes sticking out the side of his too-small sandals), I was going to do it. Luckily for me, my coworker gave me the Big Lots tip before I could actually pull the trigger.

So the hunt began.

I went to three different stores looking for these things in his size. It would have been four, but my coworker had checked for his size when she was there, so that one was crossed off my list. I got lucky and found his size. I bought two pairs.


One is plain black and doesn't have a heel strap. They had a brown pair of the same style, but I left them because I'm not sure how well W will do with the strapless shoes. One is a light blue that looks a little girly, but it has a strap. They both have the fuzzy lining, so they'll work in cold weather, too. Joy.

W hasn't actually tried them on yet, but I'm hoping they work. Otherwise, he's going to run around like a bare-footed heathen forever.

While Croc hunting, I also happened across these super-cute puzzle piece picture frames. They were cheap and in the primary color scheme I want for W's room, so I picked up a bunch. Now I just need to find something to put in them, artfully arrange them on his wall, hang his shelves (after buying brackets for them), put his alphabet mat back on the floor, and get him a big boy bed, and his room will be done. I'm practically there!


(P.S. Stay tuned on the bedroom thing. I'm really hoping to have both boys' rooms completely done and functional by the end of summer. Don't laugh yet! It might happen!)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Baby daddy

No matter what he does that annoys me, or how mad I might be at him...


All I have to do is watch my baby daddy with my babies, and I fall in love with him all over again.

Happy Father's Day to B, the bestest dad the boys could ask for.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Take me out to the ball game

W and R went to their first baseball game tonight. My bar association did a night at the local minor league team's game, and for whatever reason, I thought taking the boys with us was a good idea. The first part of the evening was rough, but once we left our seats and got to somewhere that W wasn't confined, it was a lot of fun. And we learned that we only need to spring for the $2 standing room seats the next time we go back because real seats lead to meltdowns.

Being the stellar mother that I am, I completely forgot the camera, so I had to document the event with the crappy cell phone camera.

This is W running around the standing deck.

I told you he was having fun up there.

This is how R spent the whole game - asleep and snuggled in the Moby.

Side note: I got so many comments on the Moby. Tons of parents thought it was the coolest thing.

B. He yelled at me for taking his picture.

Look, there's baseball going on!

B and I decided long ago that ballpark cups make the best water glasses, and we needed some new ones, so we sprung for the ridiculously expensive beverages. W took my cup when I finished my pop, and was playing with the ice. He dumped the cup out, then picked up all the ice and put it back in. It was a great game until the ice melted...and made my kid look like he has serious bladder control issues.

We stayed through the first three innings before it got close to bedtime, and W was getting close to losing it. It ended up being a fun family outing, and we're looking forward to doing it again. But maybe not until next summer.

Monday, June 14, 2010

A rant about birth control and the insurance company that apparently wants me to become a Duggar

Now that my uterus is vacant, I really need to think about what type of birth control B and I are going to use this time around. I am absolutely freaking terrified of getting pregnant again. I thought I was terrified of getting pregnant after I had W, but my fear has reach a whole new level now that I've had R. We've all seen that B and I are fertile, fertile people, and I'd like to prevent that whole pregnancy thing from happening to me again.

Let's discuss my options, shall we?

1. Abstinence - This is my option of choice, but B isn't digging it. He seems to think that we need to be having sex. Pshaw, I say! Abstinence is the only foolproof birth control method, you know. And foolproof is what Emily needs right now.

2. Hormonal pills/rings/shots/etc. - These hormonal drugs are no longer an option for me. They make me C-R-A-Z-Y. My feeble little brain does not respond well to my levels of lady hormones being "adjusted" (see, e.g., pretty much every post I wrote during either of my pregnancies), and I really don't want to spend the rest of my pre-menopausal life on antidepressants just to try to keep me "balanced." I've tried tons of different hormonal birth controls over the past 10 years, and I've learned that different hormonal options make me different levels of crazy (NuvaRing = not-so-bad crazy; Depo Provera = off-the-charts-might-as-well-be-pregnant crazy), but none of them let me stay even sane-ish. I'm just starting to get a good grasp on sanity for the first time in two and a half years, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let that get away. Hormonal options are not an option for me.

3. Condoms - We tried this. After we had W. It got us R. Let me lay it out for you: B and E + condoms = babies. As the idea of me using some sort of contraception is to PREVENT babies, going back to condoms is not an appealing option for me right now. I don't trust us to properly and consistently use them. Or them not to let B's effing super sperm through.

4. IUD - This one is the one I wanted. I wanted to get an IUD after I had W, but do you have any idea how much those things cost? Less than a baby, obviously, and in hindsight, we probably should have figured out a way to pay for it out-of-pocket, but it's still a good chunk of change to come up with when you're broke and just had a kid (which seems to be the story of my life). Although my current insurance will pay for my IUD (um, YAY!), there are coverage issues that means I'm not going to be able to get the IUD any time soon (see rant below for explanation).

5. Vasectomy - This is my other preferred option, but B and his balls are not in agreement. Besides, B seems to think that we're going to have another kid some day, which we can't do if his sperm are incapacitated.

6. Tubal ligation - I figure I shouldn't have to have another surgery, since I've had to carry the kids. And B seems to think that we're going to have another kid some day, which we can't do (naturally and cheaply) if my fallopian tubes are incapacitated.

7. Duggarization - This birth control method requires using no birth control at all and having a bazillion kids. No thank you.

Now that we've gone over all my options and seen the issues with all of them, let me rant about my insurance company a bit. My insurance company won't pay for hormonal birth control. That shit is expensive out-of-pocket. My insurance will pay for sterilization procedures, but B wants another kid (and I haven't managed to talk him out of it yet). Best of all, my insurance will pay for an IUD.

You may now be asking yourself, "Emily, if your insurance pays for IUDs, why are you bitching? Just go get the damn thing!" Oh, dear reader, if only it were that simple.

At my six-week check up last week, my doc told me that Mirena recently increased in price. A lot. Insurance companies, including mine, are not increasing their reimbursement rates, though, which has led my OB to refuse to insert IUDs until the company starts paying her more. She has one nurse who is in charge of all things IUD, so she put the nurse on the case. Well, the nurse discovered that my company will actually pay for the IUD (when I called after having W and getting insurance coverage at my new job, they told me they didn't cover it), but she had to call elsewhere for reimbursement rates. I just got the call today that my company reimburses $300 on a $900 product. Which is not enough for my OB. And it means no IUD for me. The nurse told me she'd put me on their waiting list and check back with my company in a few weeks to see if they've increased their rates.

I'm pissed about this. It's bad enough that my insurance won't pay for birth control pills - which, in case you were wondering, are way cheaper than the $18,000+ my insurance just paid for me to have a kid. I'm betting I could 10 years' worth of pills for the cost of one baby. So much for managing costs, right? - but the fact that they're cheaping out on the one non-permanent birth control method they'll cover to the point that doctors won't insert the IUDs is ridiculous.

I understand that insurance companies never pay full price for anything, but only paying 1/3 of the cost of a medical device seems overly stingy to me. Maybe this is the company's way of keeping women from exercising this option: if the doctors aren't getting paid sufficiently for their time and supplies, they won't put the devices in. If doctors won't put them in, women won't get them, and the company won't have to pay anything. Everybody wins!

Except the women who really want to prevent pregnancy, but don't have the ability to take advantage of other contraception options. Like me. I've outline the reasons why other stuff won't work for me and B. I suppose condoms are our best choice (considering that B is anti-abstinence), but they've already failed me once, and we cannot - CANNOT - have another baby. We don't have enough room in our house (that we just bought), we can't afford another one in daycare or diapers, and I don't know that I would be able to make it through another pregnancy. I have legitimates concern for my mental well-being if I have another kid. Not only do the hormones eff with me something fierce, but I don't particularly enjoy being a mother, and I don't want to add another urchin to my list of responsibilities. Besides, three under three is only for the truly disturbed among us.

I know some of the blame also has to lie with the company that makes the IUD for increasing their prices, and with the doctors who won't insert the devices unless they get paid more, but my insurance company is the one that frustrating me most right now. The thing is, I haven't had to personally deal with the company that makes the thing, and I can understand wanting to be fairly compensated for the cost of materials you use in your business. But I don't get a business whose main objective is to spend as little as possible while still meeting its obligations to its customers not paying a little more for something that will save them a whole bunch of money in the long run. An IUD will cost the company $900 (probably less) every five years or so, which works out to about $180 a year. A baby will cost somewhere in the area of $20,000 plus medical expenses as it grows for as long as it's covered by the plan. You tell me which is cheaper. This isn't rocket science, people!

I hate being in this position. I've often described myself as a sexual camel (which B hates) because I can go forever without sex and be just fine. He is not like that. At all. And he's getting handsy. I'm going to have to have sex with him, and it's probably going to be soon. But I'm so scared that I know I'm not going to enjoy it. And I seriously don't know what I will do if I get pregnant again, but I can tell you that it won't be pretty. And that my insurance company will get a very angry phone call from me.

You're looking at one lady who will not, under any circumstances, become a Duggar. No matter how badly my insurance company wants to push the long skirts, bad hair, and perpetually occupied uterus on me.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Today's blog discovery

I found stuff no one told me today, and I'm already a fan. There's not a ton there (it's a new-ish blog), but I'm enjoying the cartoons so far. My two favorites are:



Go check it out.

Wordless Wednesday: They must be brothers...


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Back to school

Or work. Whatever.

I went back yesterday, and I'm exhausted. Not getting at least one nap a day has been tough on me for the past two days. Not to mention, I'm feeling completely stupid and out of it around the office. Yesterday, I did something really stupid, and I'm pretty sure the boss was really annoyed with me about it (though he didn't actually say anything to me...he's not the type). Luckily, it wasn't anything significant, but I'm still annoyed with myself.

Today, I got back a decision that the boss seemed to think I really effed up (side note: I didn't necessarily eff it up. There's no authority that deals with the exact criminal code sections and legal issue that the motion I'm working on does. The courts around here are pretty evenly split about whether my decision was right or the decision should go the other way, depending on which angle of reasoning they use. Now I just need to know how the judge wants it to come out, and I'll write it up accordingly. Blah, blah, blah, I'll stop with the legal talk now). Although this is the second time the boss has taken me on as sleep-deprived new mom - and he didn't fire me the first time - I feel like he expects more out of me now that he knows what my normal work product is like. So I'm feeling pressured on top of feeling super tired. Blech.

Regardless, the first couple days back went well, and I'm mostly glad to be back. Hell, it's almost like I never left. Except for the 300 new messages in my e-mail inbox. And the fact that I'm completely behind on my office gossip.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Birth announcement

The always fabulous Michelle designed me some kick-ass birth announcments. I'm still waiting for the finished product to arrive at my door, but I'll post it now anyway (sorry for the spoiler if you actually get one in the mail).

Friday, June 4, 2010

Coloring

Today, we colored.

Not bad for a toddler, right?

But he didn't stop there. Oh, no. W decided that he needed to sample the crayons, just to make sure they tasted ok. I told him to stop, and explained that crayons aren't food. Then I made the mistake of going to the bathroom.

My blue-mouthed babe is what I returned to. He ate every.single.crayon down to the outrageously expensive plastic holders.

So I've learned my lesson: I will never buy the expensive toddler crayons ever again because they'll all end up looking like our three friends above. Also, perhaps coloring isn't the best activity for my particular toddler.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Book review: Ancestor

Have you heard of Read It Forward? It's a cool site that features and gives out free copies of three soon-to-be-released books every month. You put your name in for whatever book(s) tickles your fancy, and, if you're randomly selected, you get a free copy in the mail.

I've been lucky enough to get two books so far. The first, Claude & Camille: A Novel of Monet by Stephanie Cowell, wasn't really catching my interest, so when the second, Ancestor by Scott Sigler, arrived, I decided to start in on it. I'm glad I did because I really liked it.

Ancestor is a Michael Crichton-esque horror/sci-fi/thriller novel about a biotech company that's trying to grow an new animal that can to provide donor organs to humans, and how the experiment goes horribly wrong. This isn't the type of hing I would normally read, but free books are free books, and I'm always willing to expand my horizons.

It was a quick read. I wasn't necessarily a huge fan of Sigler's writing at times, but the story was good enough to get me past that. Oddly enough, one of the characters in the book says the same thing about a novel written by another character. I got really caught up in the story, and didn't want to put it down. I actually found myself sitting in the bathroom at 2:30 AM after nursing the baby the other night so I could have some light to keep reading. I thought the ending in the epilogue was a bit lame, but not so bad that it ruined the book. There's a fair amount of swearing and liberal use of the f-bomb, if that matters to you. I would recommend checking this one out when it's released at the end of the month.

Disclaimer: I won a free copy of Ancestor from Read It Forward, but decided to review it all on my own. I didn't receive any other compensation, all opinions are my own, blah, blah, blah.