Sunday, November 14, 2010

Drafts from the Past #4: Head case

Written February 23, 2010. There's a reason why I never published this one. Please don't judge me.

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You know there's something very fucked about you when you learn of a friend's miscarriage, and even as your heart is breaking for her, a tiny voice somewhere deep inside your head whispers, "Why couldn't that be me?"


Anonymous said...

I feel terrible that you felt that way. I am not judging though. It's courageous and real of you to admit to such a horrible feeling.

I am sure you are not alone and I am sure someone may feel a tad better by reading your honest post. It's hard to put emotions like that out there like these. I am amazed that you could share; I never could.

I thought someone else should be my son's mother when he went through a very, very difficult stage and I feel terrible that I ever had that feeling.

I guess we all have feelings we are not proud of, but they do surface anyway (regardless of the good or bad nature).

Doing My Best said...

You are so brave! And it is admirable that you are doing such a great job with your babies, even though it is SO HARD and isn't your favorite job! Many people cop out when they find out how hard parenting is, but you are doing your best, and that is just what your boys need!