Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Today's quick recap

I apologize in advance if this ends up being rambly and cryptic. I want to give you some info, but I don't want to get too deep into this stuff on the interwebs.

I had my first counseling appointment today. I actually got more out of it than I thought I would. I think it helps that I have some counseling in my educational background, so I knew what she wanted and needed to know up front to do her job, and I was willing to give it to her. I think that made the session more productive than it would have been if she had to drag this stuff out of me. I came in prepared to spill all my scary, nasty background info, and I think it paid off.

As an aside, I know my immediate family is more screwed up than most, but when I laid the family info out bluntly and all at once, even I was shocked at how messed up we sound. It's slightly amazing that any of us are at all functional. Seriously.

A lot of the things she told me today were things that I already knew, though I may not have clearly articulated them to myself. When someone else points this stuff out to me, it's amazing how it all just clicks in my brain and makes perfect sense. One of the things she mentioned was that I feel like my life is out of control in a lot of ways, and I'm trying to figure out how to get things back under my control (super true). Afterward, I had a mini-revelation about one of the things I've fixated on controlling (without even realizing it, really).

I know today was the easy day, and the sessions are going to get more difficult from here on out. But right now, I'm optimistic about this working for me.

My counselor's name is Esther. In the Bible, Esther saved the Jews from destruction. I'm hoping my Esther might be able to do the same for me.


lynzabell said...

(((HUGS))) doll'll all work out...and I really mean that Em ;) I'm not just blowing smoke... :) XOXO

Lori said...

Glad things went well and you're optimistic!!!