And I'm spent

NaBloPoMo is officially over. And I made it. It wasn't nearly as annoying as I thought it would be. And I think I'm inspired to at least put some effort into blogging a bit more frequently than I had been. I think doing it daily is a bit much. I'm shooting for two or three times a week. But don't be surprised if I take a week or so off to recover from my strenuous month of posting.

Thanks for tagging along during this little challenge. And if you just found me this month, welcome! I'm glad to have you, and I hope you'll stay around.

My nerdlet

W got his glasses about a week and a half ago, and so far they haven't been a huge hit. He won't leave them on for longer than about two minutes, and that was a record-breaking attempt. The usual length is about 10 seconds before they get ripped off and flung across the room.

The whole thing is an exercise in futility, and frustrating as hell. I'm hoping he'll get used to them soon. I'm already sick of fighting with him about these things.

Here's the best picture we've been able to get so far. It's not awesome, but it took a LOT of work and wrangling to even get this.

Your questions, answered

I asked, and you guys delivered. So here are my answers to your burning questions.

Q: What type of law do you practice? What led you to choose law as a profession? How do you manage the demands of that field with having a young child (and one on the way)?

A: I work for a governmental agency, so I see a little bit of everything. I would say my practice is 45% civil, 40% criminal, 10% miscellaneous research projects (my boss is involved with lots of committees and activities and such, so I get to help with questions that come up with those), and 5% domestic.

I hate the "why law?" question. It's one that always comes up in interviews, and I never, ever have a good answer for it. I've always found the law fascinating, and it's always been the one career I kept coming back to.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a lawyer so I could be the first woman president. Once I realized how much being president would suck, I just wanted to be a lawyer. I changed my mind to doctor (pediatric oncologist, actually) my sophomore year of high school, but early in my freshman year of college, realized that I didn't like the sciences as much as I thought I did. So I changed my major to social work. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but by the time I got close to the end, I realized that I couldn't see myself doing that forever. I liked my internship as a counselor at a correctional facility, but didn't want to do the more touchy-feely jobs that I would have been likely to find after graduation. All the while, the law was there in the background, trying to lure me back. So I finally decided to go to law school. For no real good reason.

I HATED law school. Hated it with a passion. I very seriously considered quitting after my first year. But I didn't know what I would do with myself if I did quit. So I kept on going. And I hated it all the way through. I loved the job I had during school, though, which gave me a little bit of hope that maybe life as a lawyer wouldn't be entirely terrible.

So, I guess the short answer is: I chose law because I couldn't come up with anything better to do with myself. And it's turned out pretty well so far. But you can see why I don't want to use that as an interview answer.

Actually, my job isn't terribly demanding. Since I work for the government, I have pretty regular hours with no weekends. Occasionally, I have to come in early or stay late, but that doesn't happen too often. When it does, I'm lucky that I have a husband who is able and willing to help with the baby. I know I'm very fortunate to have the job I do while my family and child(ren) are so young.

Q: What is your favorite local and non local restaurants?

A: My favorite local restaurants include Navy Bistro, Mancy's Blue Water Grille, Barry Bagels, Yoko, Cucina di Betto, Marco's (hush, I L-O-V-E their pizza and cheesy bread), and Uraku. There are countless others I've never been to, but want to try, so don't consider this list exhaustive at all.

My favorite non-local places include Panera, Texas Roadhouse, Elephant Bar, and Friendly's (but only for their ice cream).

Q: What it is like having the pregnancy exhaustion and chasing after a 1 year old?

A: Lame answer, but it's exhausting. This time around, though, the exhaustion is different. With W, it was a bone-crushing exhaustion that wouldn't let me keep my eyes open. This time, it's the deep exhaustion of the chronically busy - you know, when you've been super busy for a week or two straight, with only a few hours of sleep a night? It's that kind of exhaustion. It seems like I can't get enough sleep these days. I mean, I'm well into my second trimester, and the exhaustion hasn't given any sign that it's going to let up any time soon.

Trying to balance my desire to lounge on the couch with my BFF DVR with the need to spend time caring for and playing with W has been tough. I just want to be lazy, but it's completely impossible with a toddler running around. Actually, W's the reason I think this pregnancy has felt easier. My theory is that my pregnancy isn't actually going better this time. I just don't have the time or energy to worry about being pregnant when I have to devote all my time and energy to paying attention to the toddler.

Thanks for playing! Maybe we'll do this again some time.

All I want for Christmas

Now that Thanksgiving is officially over, I can post my Christmas (well, Birthmas*, really) wish list.

Gift certificate(s) for any number of lovely spa treatments (manicure, pedicure, massage, facial, hair cut…I’m not picky. Though my aching pregnant body would love a massage, and my hair desperately needs a cut. Just sayin’). Preferred providers available upon request.

Burt’s Bees chapstick. The regular kind with the all-yellow tube and cap. Not the red cap, not the burgundy cap, not the honey-colored tube and cap. Yellow. I’ll take several, please.

Bathroom accessories. My bathroom ensemble has been incomplete for two years now, but completing it feels much more pressing now that I have a permanent bathroom. I’d like the toothbrush holder, trashcan, and cup in violet from the Oasis collection by Nicole Miller. Available at Bed Bath and Beyond.

A new laptop battery. Mine has been shot for, oh, probably two years, but I’ve always had more pressing things to spend my money on. I need one for a Gateway MX6956 laptop.

A Tupperware container for transporting cupcakes. My mom has this awesome one that she’s had forever. It’s great. You can effectively and neatly transport either a 9x13 cake or 24 cupcakes. For as long as I can remember, we took it to school any time we had treats to share. I want one. Tupperware’s more modern version is pictured above, but anything similar would work.

Paint for one (or more) room of your choosing. You pick the room, we pick the color. This gift could be made even better by volunteering your slave labor services to help paint said room.


Some wall décor for our house. This one might be tricky because I don’t really know what kind of décor it is that I want. Use your best judgment.


Bare Minerals make up. I like Bare Minerals, but it's expensive, and it's one of the things I've had to give up while things are tight. I would like the foundation in light (I think. It's whatever the palest shade that make is. Yeah, I'm that pasty), some warmth, and maybe even some mineral veil. If you want to take it one step further, you could take me somewhere to get a make over. I need someone to give me step-by-step instructions on how to do my make up and not make myself look terrible. I'm missing my girl gene.

A Wii fit. I really, really wanted one last year after we got a Wii for Chirstmas. Right now, though, I’m feeling particularly fat and lazy, so this is at the bottom of the list.

So Santa (and Mom and B), there you have it: my wish list for this Birthmas season.

*Birthmas (\ˈbərth-məs\) – 1: noun – the phrase I coined specifically to describe the yearly time of joy that is the period between my birthday and Christmas. 2: adjective – description of something done or given as a combined celebration of my birthday and Christmas. E.g. a Birthmas gift.

Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving, the day everyone is supposed to take a minute to be thankful for all the blessings they have in their lives. While I try to do this in my head pretty frequently, I rarely do it publicly. But today, I'll share my list of thankfuls with the world.

Despite all the hard times and difficult situations I've been through, I'm truly blessed and have so much to be thankful for, including:

• B
• W
• Slimey
• My mom
• The relatively good health of me and my family
• My kick-ass babysitter
• My job
• My amazing circle of friends, old and new
• My house
• Our relatively comfortable lifestyle
• Small opportunities to pamper myself
• Internet access
• W's little friends
• Naps
• The rare mornings when I get to sleep in until 8:00
• Pajama pants
• Flip flops
• Warm days during cold months
• Christmas cookies

And so very much more.

What are you thankful for today?

The hair cut

W got his first hair cut last tonight. His hair was getting long in the back and had grown over his ears, and B was sick of his hippie hair (in B's world, "hippie hair" is anything that brushes the top of the ears). And we're getting Santa pictures this weekend. So off came the hair.

He did pretty well, considering that he was really tired and cranky. He started crying when she was trying to cut around his ears and doing his bangs, but all-in-all, it wasn't bad.

I'm a bad mom, and this was pretty last minute, so I didn't have my camera. BUT I had my cell phone (and I finally figured out how to get pictures from cell to the computer), so we have a couple of crappy quality pictures.

Before:

During (before the meltdown):


After (I swear it really is shorter):


He looks like such a big boy now. It makes me kind of sad.

My Thanksgiving dessert

I love to bake. Desserts are my specialty. They don't usually turn out pretty, but they always turn out tasty. As I'm the dessert person in both families, I usually volunteer myself to bring dessert to the holiday meals. For Thanksgiving this year, I'm making pumpkin angel food cake with a whipped cream cream cheese frosting. I've never tried it before, so I'm hoping it turns out ok. I'm also hoping the frosting isn't too heavy for an angel food cake. I wanted cream cheese frosting, but needed something light so I don't crush the cake, and this sounds just about right. I'll be buying an extra tub of Cool Whip, just in case. And I'll be sure to report back after the cake is made an eaten to let you know how it went.

House project fail

As seen here, we have a lengthy list of projects we want to accomplish around our new house in the upcoming weeks, months, and years. One of the first little improvements was a new toilet seat. The one the old owners left was kinda grungy and gross, so I bought a new one. After a week or two, I talked B into installing it. It was glorious in its clean, white beauty.

The next day, I got home from work to find the seat looking like this: (Ok, there would be a picture here, but B threw the seat away before I got a chance to take one). It was cracked. It was just a tiny crack, but a crack nonetheless.

It took less than 24 hours to break. I think it cracked the first time B sat on it, and it just got worse from there. A big ol' chunk actually fell off of it a day or two later. After the chunk fell out, the seat's innards were spilling everywhere. The seat was messy, painful, and shifty. Trying to pee while avoiding a nasty butt pinch or sliding off the toilet is not fun.

My solution? Duct tape (again with the no picture thing...I had such grand plans for this post...). I wrapped the seat in duct tape. It was hawt.

Don’t judge.

B finally went out and got a new toilet seat, just in time for a get together I had scheduled (my lucky guests didn’t have to worry about my toilet abrading their asses! Yay!)

And what did we learn from this little house project fail?

1. Spend more than $10 on your toilet seat (and that wasn’t even the cheapest one!).

2. Don’t buy a toilet seat made of “wood composite.”

3. Don’t buy your toilet seat at Wal-Mart because the only kinds they sell are either wood composite or the soft, squishy ones, and the squishy ones freak B out.

You’re welcome.

He is not my kid

For dinner tonight, I made chicken and dumplings (a.k.a. my all-time favorite meal EVER). I thought for sure that W would at least like it. I mean, he loves carrots, tolerates potatoes, and loves any kind of bread product. He did not. At all.

He didn't eat any of the potatoes or carrots. When I gave him a bite of dumpling, he spit it out. Not unusual for the first taste of a new food, so I stuck it back in. He spit it out again and started crying. Hard. After playing with his food and flinging all utensils and dishes to the floor, he started bawling and reaching for me, so I cleaned him up, put him on the floor, and shake my head in wonder at the fact that my kid hates chicken and dumplings.

About five minutes later, he puked all over the place, and then perked right up. So I'm guessing that maybe his stomach was upset, which would explain why he wasn't interested in the delicious dinner I prepared for him. We'll go with that. Because I don't think I can mother a child who won't eat dumplings.

The second time around? It's worse than the first

Sadly, even two months later, much of this is still true. I'm not quite as angry any more, but I'm still not happy with the situation or with what I know.

Originally written September 12

Right now, I'm not that pregnant (never thought I'd catch myself saying that again), but I already think the second pregnancy is worse than the first. Mostly because I've lost that lovely, blissful naivety first-time moms have.

I remember what three months of morning sickness feels like. I remember how difficult it is to get compression socks over my grossly swollen lower extremities. I remember how much that swelling sucks. I remember not being able to eat and breathe at the same time. I remember feeling like a bloated cow for months. I remember what contractions feel like. And I remember how unpleasant it is to shove an eight-pound baby out of my girlie bits.

I also remember the newborn phase - the screaming, the lack of sleep, the sore boobs, the sore vag, the depression...all of it. And I'm not looking forward to doing it again.

In fact, I am absolutely terrified of this pregnancy and this baby. I never wanted to go through this again. N-E-V-E-R. Despite what everyone and their mother tells you when you're pregnant with your first, holding that baby in your arms does NOT make you forget all the pain and unpleasantness, nor does it make everything you went through worth it. The pregnancy is the easy part. It only gets worse from there.

I don't want to do this again. I don't think I CAN do this again. I don't like knowing what's coming. I want to go back to being "book smart" about pregnancy, but completely ignorant of what it's really like.

Actually, what I want most is to go back about a month and make B glove up before he touches me. Or go back and kick him in his stupid, fertile balls so he doesn't want to touch me.

Cosmic joke? You're looking at her

Continuing with the early-first-trimester bitterness theme...

Originally written September 13

Any time I stop to think about the pregnancy situation, I can't help but feel like God is sitting up in Heaven laughing His ass off at me. I've thought for a long time that God doesn't like me, and I'm more firmly convinced of that than ever.

But I guess when you write things like this (last paragraph) and this (first paragraph) and even this, and say things like, "I do not want another child. At. All. One is way more than enough," you're bound to get your ass handed to you.

What's that old saying? "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans"? Yeah, that's pretty much happened to me. And I hate it. No one likes being made fun of...particularly by the Big Guy.

Road trip to Nebraska!

Remember a year or so ago when Nebraska passed its safe haven law? Quick tutorial. Most states have safe have laws that allow a parent to drop off and abandon their kid – usually a newborn – at designated agencies without fear of prosecution. Nebraska’s law was unique because it didn’t have an age limit on the kids it applied to (the majority of states with safe haven laws only cover babies between less than 72 hours old to less than 30 days old). Some genius brilliant deadbeat parents took advantage of the law and left their kids – some as old at 17 – at hospitals and went on their merry way. No mess, no fuss, no consequences.

Not gonna lie, that sounds pretty good to me right now. Sadly, it was less than two months ago when I was telling anyone who would listen what a fun age W was at. He was sleeping pretty well, feeding himself, walking, communicating, playing, giggling, and just being all-around FUN. I loved it.

How quickly that changed.

Now, the child is just one ginormous ball of frustration. He doesn’t listen. He repeatedly disobeys and none of the disciplinary techniques we’ve tried have worked. He’s decided to become a semi-picky eater, and won’t touch stuff he used to like (though we still have our go-to list of favorites: grilled cheese (any cheese, really), pancakes, graham crackers, fruit, milk). He will NOT leave his glasses on his head. He never stops moving. Ever. He won’t even cuddle and rock with me right before bedtime like he used to. He’s driving me nuts.

So I think W and I are going to take a road trip to Nebraska. At least the drive home won’t be too terrible…

Dang. I just went and did my research like a good little lawyer should. I’m about a year too late. They changed the law to include age limits pretty soon after it was first enacted. Oh, well. Guess I’ll have to come up with a plan B that allows me to keep my kid and some semblance of my sanity.

Happy Halloween!

For W's first official Halloween (last year, he was four days old and wasn't supposed to be here yet, so that didn't count), we were lucky enough to spend the evening at Michelle's super-cute Halloween party. She covered the whole thing pretty well, but I will add that B, W, and I all had a lot of fun. I love watching W run around with other little kids. And even though he was the youngest one there by eight months or so, he still held his own pretty well (though he did keep pissing off the nine-year-old by constantly trying to steal the MagnaDoodle while the nine-year-old was drawing).

This year, W was an adorable little penguin.

The ladies loved him. Any time we stopped at a house where a woman was handing out candy, we heard some variation of "Awwwww! Look at the penguin! He's so cute!" No complaints about that here. I know my kid's cute (or, he was, until he got the glasses), and I'm glad others notice, too (even if it's just because of the adorable costume).

Here's the whole group of kids from the party. We had a monkey, a bumblebee, my baby penguin, and Spider Man. See how the bumblebee is crying? Want to know why? Because Bumblebee's mom gave him a PB cup to bribe entice him into sitting still for some pictures. And as soon as it was in Bumblebee's hand, my kid grabbed it and attempted to stuff it in his mouth. Bumblebee promptly started sobbing. Luckily, I rescued the PB cup before it got into W's drooling jaws of death and gave it back to Bumblebee. It didn't matter. The damage had been done. And everyone's pictures came out as some variation of the one you see above. That's my boy!

We took W out trick or treating with the other boys. He didn't entirely get it. He did a good job of trying to swipe extra candy from every bowl extended in his direction. He did not do such a good job of walking on his own or riding in the stroller.

I'll admit, I kinda felt like we were those parents. You know, the ones who take their baby out trick or treating just to get candy for themselves. But we only went so W could spend some more time with the other kids, and it didn't turn out too badly. And at least we weren't a group of three adult (ok, high-school-aged, if I'm being generous and giving them the benefit of the doubt) women, not in costume, carrying pillow cases, one of whom was very obviously pregnant, all of whom were asking for candy, with a token five-ish-year-old little girl.* That made me feel better about pimping taking my kid out to get candy.

* True story. This group came to my friend's house while I was helping hand out candy after we got back.

Elevator etiquette

Maybe it's just because I'm a hormonal, pregnant wench right now, but the elevator etiquette at work is really starting to bother me. Normally, I take the stairs, as it's the only form of exercise I tend to get. But ever since I got pregnant, hauling my not-even-all-that-fat-yet ass up the two ginormous staircases from my office to the boss's office was causing dog-like panting, extreme sweating, and general overexertion. So I've switched to being the lazy ass who always takes the elevator up and down two floors.

So that we can get along if we ever happen to run into each other at or in an elevator, here are a few simple rules that all elevator riders should observe. It'll make the whole experience more pleasant for everyone.

1. When getting on an elevator, wait - somewhere that is not right in front of the door - until the people currently on the elevator get off before you try to get on.
2. When you're alone in the elevator, don't do something stinky in there so that the next person who gets on has to a). smell it, and b). potentially defend themself from dirty looks by other elevator patrons who think they're responsible for the smell.
3. Don't talk to strangers. Same as when you were a kid.
4. Don't send the elevator back to the floor you just came from.

See, it doesn't take much to make me happy. Just don't run me over when I'm getting off the elevator, fart right before I get on, talk to me, or make me wait an extra two minutes because you decided to send the elevator back upstairs.

Are these things general elevator issues that happen everywhere? Or am I just noticing how incredibly un-elevatorcated my building is now that I'm using the elevator much more frequently?

First look

I know you've already seen an ultrasound picture, but I figured I should be documenting Slimey's appointments as throughly as I did W's. Thus, you're getting the lame first appointment post.

Originally written September 28

I had my first OB appointment today. It went well. The baby is doing fine, measuring exactly 9 weeks (I'm 8 weeks, 6 days today). Doc thinks I might have a fibroid that made the ultrasound shadowy, but it's apparently no big deal. Nothing earth shattering happened. I mean, it's not like I'm in for a lot of surprises this time, right? It (unfortunately) hasn't been all that long since the first time I did this.

Here's a shot of the wee one. Not all that great, as there's a bunch of shadow over the whole thing, but there you go.

In case anyone is wondering, I'm still not excited, and I'm still not ok with this whole thing. At. All.

Halfway

Well, I've made it halfway through NaBloPoMo (ugh, I cringe every time I type that). And, quite honestly, I'm starting to run out of ideas for posts. As a bit of inspiration, I thought I would be like all the cool bloggers and do an ask anything post. So, ask me anything. Post a question in the comments, and one day soon, I'll go through and answer them all.

I know I don't have a huge readership, so to make this work, I beg ask all three of my readers to ask something. Even if you've never commented before. Come on out and introduce yourself! I don't bite. Much.

Pregnancy or pig flu?

This flu season, my place of employment is really pushing the whole hand-washing/stay-home-when-you're-sick/don't-make-the-rest-of-us-ill-you-inconsiderate-a-holes thing. As part of this campaign, they've posted little signs on the inside of all the bathroom stall doors tell you how to cough/sneeze and cleanse your hands. These signs also have a list of flu symptoms to be on the look out for.

The list includes:

• Fever
• Headache
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Diarrhea
• Runny or stuffy nose
• Extreme tiredness
• Sore throat
• Cough
• Muscle aches

For the past couple of months, every time I sat staring at one of those signs while I used the facilities (and anyone who's been pregnant knows that I spent a LOT of time peeing during the first trimester), I laughed at the list of symptoms. I had most of them. Every.Single.Day. Not because I'm one of those inconsiderate a-holes who doesn't stay home when they're sick, but because I was pregnant.

Pregnancy gives me nausea, vomiting, headaches, stuffy nose, extreme tiredness, and muscle aches. I wish they were forcing me to stay home because I'm pregnant.

Pregnancy triggers

No matter what they tell you in health class, there's more to getting pregnant than just having sex. Read on.

Originally written September 10.

My mom has this theory that every woman only has one fertile time a year. For example, my brother, sister, and I all have birthdays within five weeks of each other. Her fertile time was mid-March. My coworker's two children are about two weeks apart. Her fertile time was in November. A friend has three children whose birthdays are all within a month or so of each other. Her fertile time was August.

My mom might have a point.

Regardless, I don't fit into her theory.

Rather than being fertile once a year, I'm fertile when the stars align just right, and the following things happen:

1. I'm getting ready to start my third cycle after not having a period for some substantial length of time, and


2. One of my law school friends is approximately two months pregnant.

That's how it's happened both times. I've told my law school friends that they MUST tell me the second they know they're pregnant so I can make B stay the hell away from me during the dangerous time. I think they just laughed at me.

At least I figured out the pattern so I know what to look for to prevent this from happening again.*

*It will also be prevented from happening again because B is getting a vasectomy. Whether he wants one or not.

A "Very Hungry" birthday party

For W's first birthday party, I decided to do a The Very Hungry Caterpillar themed party. The idea was given to me by none other than the party mistress herself, Michelle. I've always loved the Eric Carle book, and thought it was a super-cute theme, so the idea for W's party was born.

With my vacation, moving, and all the other late-October craziness, party planning got pushed to the last minute. The guest list was also greatly reduced by illness by the time the party actually started. Even so, it turned out great.

These are the signs I made to put on the food table. My mom forgot to buy holders for them when she was out shopping on party day, so they didn't have nearly the impact I was hoping for.

The spread. The food was inspired by what the caterpillar ate in the book. We didn't have any "leaves," though, because my younger sister-in-law, who was supposed to be bringing the salad, was too hungover sick to make it to the party.

For favors, I made these tye-dyed cookie sandwiches. I also made caterpillar suckers inspired by the one above I found at Whimsical Boutique. Somehow, I managed to forget to take a picture of them. They were all green with a red head. They were super cute. P.S. Blue raspberry Tootsie Pops? Who thought that was a good idea?

The cake that I made (with a bit of assistance from one of my mom's friends). The big caterpillar was inspired by this cake. The little yellow was was W's personal cake (done entirely by me!). I decided that red frosting was not the best idea for the baby to dig into.

Here's the little dude enjoying his birthday cake. He loooooooves frosting. The cake he could take or leave. But the frosting, LOVES it.

The balloon caterpillar (stolen from here) that was pretty much our only decoration. My mom put the face on it with a sharpie before I had a chance to do something cuter.

And finally, one of the pictures of Mr. W opening his presents. Despite the way he looks intensely interested in opening gifts, he really couldn't have cared less. Every time he opened another loud noisy obnoxious thoughtful present, he got distracted by it, and chose to play with it instead of continuing on with the other gifts.

The party was small (just immediate family), but it was tons of fun. Everyone enjoyed themselves, the babies all had a great time playing together, and I was so exhausted when it was all said and done that I couldn't even drive home from my mom's house that night. All-in-all, it was a very hungry success.

Up to my eyeballs in stupid

Ever had one of those days where everyone you encounter seems to have had an extra dose of stupid for breakfast? Yesterday was one of those days.

First, I get pulled over for a bullshit reason (I have a new car, and my plates are still registered to my old car - I just got my title paperwork in the mail on MONDAY, so I hadn't had a chance to get to the license bureau by 8:00 on Tuesday morning) by a cop who was being a pain about the whole thing. This was the same cop who responded to my accident a month or so ago, and he kept making smart ass remarks about it (gotta love wrecking your car in a pretty small town). This also happened two blocks from work, on a side street that lots of people take to our building. Stupid.

At work, an attorney had a stupid reason for having the wrong time down for a hearing, so I got to work early (despite my run-in with the law) for no reason. Stupid.

Then a security guard asked me a ridiculous question, and got offended when I gave him an answer that apparently wasn't specific enough for him. Stupid.

Next, the other attorney involved in this hearing was pissed about something, and kept getting completely off topic because of something that had no bearing on the hearing and couldn't be changed. Stupid.

Some of us went to a local Chinese buffet for lunch for a coworker's birthday. We were seated in front of a table full of high schoolers. Stupid high schoolers who kept doing and talking about stupid stuff. While I was sitting there being forced to listen to their crap, I very clearly remembered acting the same way with my friends at restaurants while in high school, but, for obvious reasons, these stupid kids really got on my nerves. Stupid.

After my delicious and salty lunch, I was all bloated, and the non-maternity suit pants I had on decided they no longer wanted to fit. And people kept coming to my office for stupid reasons, so I couldn't unbutton them without risking flashing coworkers. Stupid.

I got a call from W's pediatrician's office about his 15 month check-up. The doctor has decided to change her hours, so now I'm going to have to miss work to take him to his appointment, rather than being able to head over right after work. It's also my understanding that this particular doctor no longer has evening hours at ALL. Stupid.

I stopped to get gas on my way home, and the gas station was fairly busy. Someone pulled up behind me to wait for my pump while I was filling up. I mean, they pulled up right behind me. In front of me were the cashier's booth, a couple of newspaper boxes, and a pop machine. I drive a minivan, which is not exactly the easiest to maneuver out of tiny spaces. The person behind me didn't seem to notice this as I was repeatedly reversing and driving forward, reversing and driving forward. Stupid.

W refused to get out of the way of the vacuum while I was trying to sweep the floors tonight. Then he looked at me like I was the one in his way when I nudged his toes with the vacuum, or tried to move myself around him. Stupid. He was in a great mood and a lot of fun tonight, though, so I'll let him pass. B gets a pass, too, because he grilled dinner AND he remembered to do the chores I asked him to today.

But other than the boys this evening, everyone I crossed paths with yesterday was stupid. Just plain stupid. And I'm done with being up to my eyeballs in stupid. Here's hoping the stupids leave me alone today.

Happy birthday to my sweet baby boy*

My baby turned one today. And I just can't believe. I can't believe it's been a whole year since he came into our lives and turned them upside down. The year has had its ups and down. The first few months were the hardest of my life. The last few haven't been easy, but the challenges have been much different. It's been amazing to watch you grow and change from a screaming little newborn to a walking, giggling, smiling, yelling little boy.

Happy birthday, little man. Congratulations (to you AND to Mommy and Daddy) on surviving your first year. I'm really looking forward to watching you grow and change in the years to come. I love you.

*Let's all just pretend I actually wrote this on October 28, mmmkay?

Our new abode

I mentioned awhile back that we bought a house, and this is the post in which I tell you all about it and what we plan to do with it.

La Casa de E and B was built in 1918 or '19. We're the third owners (our sellers lived here for over fifty years). It's a two-ish bed, one bath, 1250 square foot house. It's got a four-car garage, huge back yard, and tons of potential.

I have a few pics, but they're from before we moved in. I also didn't get pictures of the living room, garage, back yard, or stairwell/upstairs hallway because the owners were there when I was taking the pictures, and I felt weird about taking pics in front of them (and it's not picture-ready yet). They aren't so fantastic, but they give you the general idea.

I'm also going to tell you what we plan to do to each room now, soon-ish, and in the future.

The Exterior

Luckily for us, there isn't a lot that needs to be done to the outside of the house. The siding and roof are both relatively new. It is going to eventually need new windows, but I think shrink wrapping the windows will work for this winter. We also need to change all the locks. And put insulation in the attic (not really exterior, but it doesn't fit anywhere else.

Garage

B needs to get his butt in gear to clean and organize all the crap the sellers left in the garage. I want to park in there when the snow comes! He's also going to have to rewire it at some point.

Living Room

- Paint
- Install overhead lighting/ceiling fan
- Get insert for the non-working fireplace
- New carpet
- New window treatments

Dining Room

- Paint
- Put down non-carpet flooring
- Paint built-in corner cabinets (not pictured)
- New window treatments

Kitchen

- Paint
- Get rid of the plastic walls
- Replace all appliances
- Replace sink
- Paint cabinets (eventually replace them)
- New hardware for cabinets

- Patch hole in the floor (under the ceramic duck)

Basement

- New washer and dryer
- Install some cupboards or shelves for more storage

- Move the cat and her stuff down there (once we come up with a way for the cat to get down there, but not the baby)

Stairwell and Upstairs Hallway

- Take off nasty floral wallpaper
- Replace carpet
- Paint

Bathroom




- Take off nasty floral wallpaper
- Paint
- Install vent fan
- Replace toilet
- Replace vanity
- Install medicine cabinet
- Remove magazine rack
- Add another towel rack
- Replace tub

W's Room

This is W's room for now, and will likely be shared by W and Slimey, once Slimey is born and mostly sleeping through the night.

- Paint
- Patch holes in floor (far wall, near heater)
- New window treatments
- Possibly put down carpet
- Get some sort of armoire (there's no closet in there)
- Install bolt at top of breezeway door
- New wall sconce
- Overhead light/ceiling fan (eventually)

Fake Bedroom

This is the fake bedroom. It apparently used to be the closet for W's room and a walk-in linen closet that was converted so the sellers' three teenaged daughters didn't all have to share a room. It's about five feet wide and 14 feet long. Right now, it's housing the cat and her accoutrement's. At some point in time, it will become the nursery. It's just big enough for a crib, a dresser/changing table, and a rocker. Once it's no longer the nursery, it's going to be an office. Acutally, we'll probably attempt to turn this room and W's room into two small-ish, but still decent-sized bedrooms (W's room is pretty big).

- Paint

- Get rid of the nasty yellow shag carpet

- Get blinds

- New window treatments

Our Room



- Paint (including the inside of the ginormous closet)
- Refinish floors (hardwood...won't be done for a long time from now, I'm sure)
- Overhead light/ceiling fan
- New wall sconce
- Paint and decorate the small closet (not pictured) that is going to be my office
- Remove the clothes bar and useless shelves in the small closet
- Maybe get a rug or two

Oh, we also have to change every switch plate in the house because they're all these ugly pewter-ish scrolly-looking things. So there you have it. Our house. I still can't quite believe that we own a house and get to live here for as long as we want. I'm so freaking excited about the whole thing!

Baby Slimey

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to Baby Slimey (also known as Thing 2 in the S household).

Originally written October 2

I think Baby 2 has a fetus name: Slimey.

I sent my mom the pics from my first ultrasound, and she though the baby looked like Slimey the worm, Oscar the Grouch's pet worm. You know, from Sesame Street.

Here's a close up of the little one.

You don't see it? Let me help.

(Note my mad Paint skillz).

Still not buying it? Here's a side-by-side comparison.

You see it now, right? And you totally agree, don't you?

Slimey may not be the cutest fetus name out there, but it seems appropriate. I mean, W got his fetus name (Lump, in case you've forgotten) based on his appearance in his first ultrasound.

Baby Slimey. It has a ring to it, no?

Struggling

I'm struggling right now.

With the current baby, with the upcoming baby, with everything I have going on and everything I need to do.

I don't want to be where I am and I don't want to go where I'm going.

I'm struggling today. A lot.

How it happened

I mentioned the other day that I'm pregnant. Again. Not on purpose. I tried to secretly blog the super fun emotional roller coaster that this discovery caused. I'm going to start posting some of those old entries (that have been tweaked and updated a bit) for your enjoyment.

Originally written September 6, 2009

I'm pregnant.

Found out September 3.

On a whim.

This was supposed to be my third post-baby, post-breastfeeding period. My cycles weren't 100% regular, but I was three days late based on my shortest cycle, two days late based on my average cycle length, and one day late based on my longest cycle. I stopped at the Dollar Tree after work that day to pick up a laundry basket - of all things - and grabbed a pregnancy test from the checkout.

On a whim.

Knowing full-well that I wasn't pregnant, and I was just being a paranoid freak.

I was going to wait until Friday morning, but, of course, got antsy, and took the test Thursday night.

The line came up immediately. And it came up dark.

I stared.

Then I started on the denial. I believe my exact words were, "No. No. No, no, no, no, NO. I can't be pregnant. No."

I walked out to the living room where B was blissfully, ignorantly watching TV. I handed him the test cartridge, and started babbling about how I was so sorry, and he has super sperm, and I'm getting an IUD after this one. And I cried. A lot.

He said, "Two lines is bad, right?"

Later that night, I took an old digital I had sitting in the bathroom, thinking that the Dollar Tree test must have been defective. How much accuracy can you expect for a dollar? Right?

The word "pregnant" glared back at me.

I cried some more.

B and I talked. I think, underneath all of the terror, he's excited. Me? I'm not sure how I feel right now. I've had three days to start getting used to the idea, but I'm still in ridiculous amounts of shock and denial.

The worst part is, we don't remember having sex last month.* We spent an hour trying to figure out when it might have happened, but we couldn't come up with anything. There's one night we might have, but neither of us really remembers doing it.

So I might be a lot more pregnant than I think I am.

I had a period at the end of July that was slightly lighter than normal, but not so light that I thought anything of it. I'm hoping to have my first appointment with the OB (who I'm hoping doesn't laugh at me for being an idiot and not making my husband use condoms religiously) by the end of the month. I'll have an ultrasound at that appointment that will date the baby.

If I did get pregnant in August, I think I'm currently 5 weeks, 4 days along, and my due date is May 5, 2010 (4 weeks, 4 days, and May 12, 2010, if you calculate everything based on my long cycles, which I don't think the OB will). [Update: Apparently, I did get pregnant in August. I'm due May 4, and I'm at 14w 2d as of today.]

And we're going to have two kids under two years old.

Yikes.

* In the interest of defending my sex life to internet strangers, it's not normally like that. It was a bad month in a lot of ways, which interfered with sexy time. I think the only other time we've gone that long was when we were in college and living 300 miles apart.

I'm getting a nerdlet

At six months, W got an eye exam through the InfantSEE program. If you have a baby between six months and one year, I highly recommend getting your babe checked. It's free. And it's a good preventative tool.

Anyway, the doc wasn't too pleased with the way W's eyes looked, so they told us to come back for a recheck in six months. We did, and it's wasn't great news.

Apparently, W's prescription hadn't changed one bit from his six-month appointment. Which means glasses for the little dude. The doc doesn't like to put babies this young in glasses, but since W wasn't making any improvement on his own, something needs to be done for him. I'm glad he'll be able to see, but I'm kinda bummed that I'm going to have a nerdy little toddler (or nerdlet, as I prefer).

The office has to order in some of the frames that have the thingies that curve around the ears (in a vain attempt to keep them on his head...if the real glasses are anything like his sunglasses, we don't have a prayer), but those should be in by the end of the week. After that, we'll pick out his frames, and he'll be in glasses in a week or so.

Poor baby. With parents like us, he's going to be nerdy enough. He doesn't need the added help of being in glasses right after his first birthday.

You know you're a dorky lawyer when...

You're super excited that your boss is out of the office in the morning so you can watch state Supreme Court oral arguments about the constitutionality of the most recent incarnation of the state's sex offender registration law without worrying about being interrupted.

(Here are the argument previews, if you're as dorky and lawyerly as I am, and I've piqued your interest).

Happy election day!

I know it's not a big, exciting election, but it's important that you get out and vote.

So what are you waiting for? Go vote!

NaBloPoMo. Yeah, I'm doing it

To kick my lazy ass into gear re: my blog writing, I decided to join NaBloPoMo for this month (even though that kind of abbreviation makes my retinas bleed and my brain explode).

Luckily for me, I wrote a post yesterday, and I've got this one for today, so I'm off to a great start! Yay me!

Look for more posts at least as thrilling as this one for the next 28 days. It's gonna be awesome.

I'm giving you five minutes of precious sleep time

To pretty much tell you nothing.

I'm busy. Life is kinda crazy. I have no time to blog. The only time I tend to have available is during work, and since I don't think work needs to find out about my blog, I won't do my blogging there.

Here are a few teasers about the posts I would be writing if I could (and will be writing when I find a spare hour or five): moving; the new house; our grand plans for the new house; unpacking and lack thereof; W's first birthday; W's first birthday party; Halloween; my annoyance with the flu shot hoopla; an update on my quest to clean out my beauty product collection; the loss of a blog; Thanksgiving (I think I'm hosting, if I can get the house put together by then); an elaboration on the final bullet point; a whole slew of backlogged pregnancy posts; and an official introduction to Slimey.

So stick around. I promise some actual content (if you can call my asinine ramblings that) is coming soon. Happy November!