How it happened

I mentioned the other day that I'm pregnant. Again. Not on purpose. I tried to secretly blog the super fun emotional roller coaster that this discovery caused. I'm going to start posting some of those old entries (that have been tweaked and updated a bit) for your enjoyment.

Originally written September 6, 2009

I'm pregnant.

Found out September 3.

On a whim.

This was supposed to be my third post-baby, post-breastfeeding period. My cycles weren't 100% regular, but I was three days late based on my shortest cycle, two days late based on my average cycle length, and one day late based on my longest cycle. I stopped at the Dollar Tree after work that day to pick up a laundry basket - of all things - and grabbed a pregnancy test from the checkout.

On a whim.

Knowing full-well that I wasn't pregnant, and I was just being a paranoid freak.

I was going to wait until Friday morning, but, of course, got antsy, and took the test Thursday night.

The line came up immediately. And it came up dark.

I stared.

Then I started on the denial. I believe my exact words were, "No. No. No, no, no, no, NO. I can't be pregnant. No."

I walked out to the living room where B was blissfully, ignorantly watching TV. I handed him the test cartridge, and started babbling about how I was so sorry, and he has super sperm, and I'm getting an IUD after this one. And I cried. A lot.

He said, "Two lines is bad, right?"

Later that night, I took an old digital I had sitting in the bathroom, thinking that the Dollar Tree test must have been defective. How much accuracy can you expect for a dollar? Right?

The word "pregnant" glared back at me.

I cried some more.

B and I talked. I think, underneath all of the terror, he's excited. Me? I'm not sure how I feel right now. I've had three days to start getting used to the idea, but I'm still in ridiculous amounts of shock and denial.

The worst part is, we don't remember having sex last month.* We spent an hour trying to figure out when it might have happened, but we couldn't come up with anything. There's one night we might have, but neither of us really remembers doing it.

So I might be a lot more pregnant than I think I am.

I had a period at the end of July that was slightly lighter than normal, but not so light that I thought anything of it. I'm hoping to have my first appointment with the OB (who I'm hoping doesn't laugh at me for being an idiot and not making my husband use condoms religiously) by the end of the month. I'll have an ultrasound at that appointment that will date the baby.

If I did get pregnant in August, I think I'm currently 5 weeks, 4 days along, and my due date is May 5, 2010 (4 weeks, 4 days, and May 12, 2010, if you calculate everything based on my long cycles, which I don't think the OB will). [Update: Apparently, I did get pregnant in August. I'm due May 4, and I'm at 14w 2d as of today.]

And we're going to have two kids under two years old.

Yikes.

* In the interest of defending my sex life to internet strangers, it's not normally like that. It was a bad month in a lot of ways, which interfered with sexy time. I think the only other time we've gone that long was when we were in college and living 300 miles apart.