Sunday, June 28, 2009

The things you miss


This. I miss this. I miss the sweet, snugly, sleepy newborn days. I don't miss the constant-puking, incessant-screaming, refusing-to-sleep-during-normal-human-sleeping-hours aspects of the newborn phase, but I do miss being able to hold and snuggle my little man almost constantly. I miss staring at him in wonder while he slept in my arms. I miss smelling his sweet baby smell and kissing his downy baby head. Being around my newborn niece recently has only increased my longing for W's newborn days.

Before anyone suggests it, I don't miss all this enough to have another. Ever. The shitty stuff that comes along with a newborn FAR outweighs the sweet stuff. And I can always borrow newborns from friends and family. They're fantastic when you can give them back, but terrible when you have to take them home at the end of the day.

This strange newborn-longing I've started feeling recently confuses me to no end. But it also explains to me why someone might decide to have a second (or third...but not fourth or more...I don't think there's any explaining more than three...) kid. As for me, I go watch W sleep when I get some newborn lust. His sweet, sleeping face tames the longing for awhile. In his sleep, he looks almost as tiny and perfect as he did the day we brought him home. And now that we're slightly removed from the days of no sleep (and one of us doesn't have to hold him the entire time he's passed out to keep him that way), his sleeping isn't just a two- or three-hour respite from a screaming baby. He's much easier to enjoy and marvel over when I'm not dreading the moment he wakes up.

My little dude is eight months old today. He's getting so big, doing so much, and is so much fun now. But that doesn't keep me from missing the sweet moments we got with him eight months ago.

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