A week or so before I went back to work, I asked my friends when I could expect the baby to get himself on a schedule, mostly because I wanted to know what kind of sleep I could expect to get on work nights. They all told me their babies sort of scheduled themselves somewhere between six and eight weeks. "Great!", I thought. I figured my baby would be no different, and he would start to fall into some sort of pattern in the near future.
That never happened.
Here we are at 10 weeks, and the only thing this kid does consistently is wake up somewhere around 4:00 A.M. to eat. I feel like I have no control over his daily schedule because I'm not around during the day. Everything I've tried to get him on some sort of bedtime schedule has massively failed. Right now, beyond the 4 o'clock feeding, I couldn't tell you when the kid will eat, sleep, play, or shit. And it's starting to drive me crazy. I am not good at living in such an unstructured state of being. I need some predictability in my day. I want to know when I can call B while I'm at work and not risk waking the baby. I'd like to know when B and I might be able to have a couple of hours of grown up time in the evenings. I need to know when my boobs have to be available.
But, my sanity doesn't matter to the baby.
The thing that bugs me most is the lack of a sleep schedule. I like sleep, and I miss it a lot. Knowing when sleep and I might get a chance to spend some quality time together is even more important to me than knowing when B and I might get some quality time together. I've tried to set up a routine, but every night brings a new interruption or distraction. When I strive for consistency, I seem to be thwarted by someone or something.
Thursday night, for example. I asked B to stay up with the baby because Friday was my first day at my new job, and I wanted to be well-rested. I woke up at 4:00 to crying from downstairs because the boys never made it from the living room to their respective bedrooms. Rather than bringing the baby upstairs when he fell asleep, B put him in his bouncy seat and let him sleep there. How is the kid ever going to learn to sleep in his crib if he's not put in his crib to sleep? In the same vein, B tends to sit in the living room with the TV and lamp on (it's on low, but on nonetheless) when he's trying to get Will to sleep. I get that sitting in the dark nursery with no entertainment but a lullaby CD is boring, but the less stimulation for the baby, the better, right?
I hate to criticize because B's not really doing anything wrong, he's just not doing things my way (which inherently makes it wrong, right? Heh). I don't want to stifle his daddy-ing, but I want my kid to learn how to sleep. I'm pretty sure his intentions are good, but the results are frustrating as hell for me. I feel like we've talked about this stuff before, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. Maybe I'm not clear enough with my expectations. Or maybe B's just a dumb ass sometimes. Who knows.
I really, really hope Will figures out the sleeping thing and the schedule stuff sometime soon. That way, when people who had babies five days before I did tell me their kids started sleeping through the night this past week, I don't wish them all ill and want to punch them in their throats (What can I say? Sleep deprivation makes me violent). Not that this happened to me when I got my brows waxed the other day, or anything.
If any of you have any suggestions on how to get him on a schedule (or at least make bedtime bedtime, not fight-for-hours-to-get-the-kid-to-go-to-sleep time), please, for the love of all that is holy, give them to me. This includes you, lurkers. I know you're out there reading, so go ahead and leave some comments. I won't bite, I promise. Unless you're into that.