Man, I really need to stay on top of this thing. It's been awhile.
Anywho, abnormality. I've never done this before, so I don't exactly know what's normal, but I have a feeling that I'm not. I'm not a blissfully happy pregnant lady, despite having the world's easiest pregnancy so far. *Knock on wood*. I don't feel any motherly feelings toward the thing growing inside of me. I don't worry about how it's doing or wonder what it's going to look like. In fact, I refer to it as my parasite, but only when B's not around because he hates that. I have no interest in picking out names or decorating a nursery or registering or any of that stuff. That might be partly because people close to us have already used all the names I like and because I hate decorating and registering. I HATE wearing maternity shirts. If my regular pants didn't still fit, I might have had a clothing meltdown already. I'm slightly resentful that I'm getting fat. That might not be a problem if I looked pregnant, but I just look like a college freshman sorority girl who's been hitting the beer harder than the gym for a semester or so.
I know I swore to myself and all of you that I would do my best to enjoy my pregnancy, but I'm really having trouble finding anything about this to enjoy. That makes me really sad.
I would like to blame this on the hormones that have been making me their bitch for the past 4-ish months. I've never handled hormonal medications well. Ask my mom, B, and my freshman year dormmates about my first birth control pill experience. Scary. Very scary. However, I'm secretly afraid that this is just me, and this all means that I'm going to be a bad mother who doesn't care at all about her child. I don't want to be that mother.